Sarah vrs the Ghost of Christmas
by j.santacruz98
Summary: this takes place just after Sarah killed Mauser to save Chuck. He boss Graham is dead and she lay in bed thinking about her feelings for Chuck and her position as a CIA Agent. She is torn and unable to decide her life, when she has a very unexpected visitor to her hotel room. she thinks she had finally lost it or had she?
1. Chapter 1

**Sarah vrs the Ghost of Christmas:**

 **Merry Christmas to all the Chuck fans and cast of Chuck. I know it has been some time since the show has gone off air, however many of us still have hopes either for a reunion show or a movie. Also a big Merry Christmas to Yvonne and her two cute pooches, may you have a sweet Merry Christmas and a safe and Happy New Year for 2017.**

It was Dec24th and Agent Sarah Walker lay in her hotel room trying to sleep, but could not. The day's events still reeling on her mind, The hostage scene at the Buy-More, lieutenant Mauser and having the subsequently shoot him to protect Chuck, Chuck giving her the charm bracelet . As she played with it in her wrist, Sarah fantasized how she longed to be in Chuck's warm embrace. Feeling so warm and safe his arms wrapped around her and feeling him kiss her head and lips. It made her body tingle, as her dreams kept pushing her to this view of her life. She thought to herself secretly, can I do this? Can I tell chuck how I truly feel and still protect him? Suddenly as if being hit by a brick wall it was no longer Sarah the woman but agent Walker came into her psyche. The unfeeling Ice Queen, Langston's wildcard Enforcer emerged and the sole thought entered her mind.

"No, Spies don't fall in love!"

Sarah just laid in bed at her alter-ego her spy persona telling her the harsh reality that had always been drummed into her since joining the CIA. But inwardly the woman side cried and a single tear escaped her eyes as she tried not to let the emotions overwhelm her. Sarah Walker had never know love, given it not received it either. Men just looked at her as a dumb blonde, a trophy, something to be used and thrown out when they were through. She knew how cruel many men were in her career as the top- CIA agent. Partly for this reason she did not like being assigned seduction missions. She preferred being the kickass enforcer even though her looks could accomplish it far easier. After her missions in Russia and Paris she reinforced her Enforcer role after nearly being raped by several marks. She had promised herself never to allow any un-worthy man to use her in that way.

However she did have a sprint with Bryce Larkin her old partner, she did have a sexual relationship but it was not for love or affection it was filling a mechanical need. Many times it was just to get it over with since Bryce just thought of her as something to conquer. Many a time Bryce could care less about her needs and just want to satisfy his own needs and then let her hanging. Many a time after Bryce had fallen asleep she would awaken and masturbate herself to find some release. Many a time in her mind she would think about the friend Bryce would endlessly talk about from Stanford. Bryce would tell her stories about this dream man, his kindness, his willingness to put others first. Sarah at this point would just have sex with Bryce just to hear those stories she loved and this wonderful man. The man of her dreams, she would often lay awake thinking to herself.

"Could this dream man really exist?" Sarah thought to herself.

The next moment Sarah felt an eerie sensation she felt as if a presence were in her hotel room. Looking around she found no one but then suddenly found her name being called. She reached for her gun ready to use it on any intruder. When suddenly before her was her previous boss Langston Graham.

Sarah was confused and unable to think, her former boss was dead, Killed when Fulcrum sent a fake Intersect component which had blown up killing Graham and 10 other agents.

"But your dead, you were blown up." Sarah responded

"Yes Sarah I am but I have been given one last chance to redeem myself." Graham said

Sarah looked at her former boss, and saw that he was covered in blast wounds but was covered in long chains, with heavy weights. One chain in particular was the thickest and heaviest of all. It was 5 times the size of the other chains and seemed to be the most burden of all.

"Director I don't understand all this, and why are you covered in chains?" Sarah asked.

"These Sarah are my sins, of all the people I have hurt over my lifetime. I thought doing the greater good was enough. While it may had been true I also hurt many people who were innocent and did not deserve to be hurt. But this large chain, my heaviest burden is what I have done against you Sarah. I made you into my wildcard enforcer an assassin. I did you the most wrong against you and against Chuck. You deserve better Sarah, I knew that then but my ego, my arrogance didn't let you have what I knew you wanted most of all."

Sarah could not speak but just continued to listen.

"Sarah I was wrong about your feelings for Chuck and I was also wrong when I had ordered for Casey to terminate Chuck."

Sarah's mouth dropped at that revelation, she had never known that the order had been given out and it was her telling Chuck about the Intersect blowing up, saved him moments before Casey would have put a bullet in his head. Sarah remembered that night when Chuck had invited her for a real date; he was making her dinner when she rushed over to tell him the news. The pit of her stomach ached if she was a minute or two later she would have found him in a pool of blood. Her emotions threatened to overwhelm her at that news. Her anger lashed out at the apparition of her former boss. Cursing him for what she would have lost, had Chuck been killed.

"I am sorry Sarah I was wrong but I want to help you both , Sarah these chains are nothing compared to the ones I have helped you forge. I created you to be my Enforcer but I was told the chains you forged are twice mine already. But you have a chance to redeem yourself Sarah before it is too late. That is why I will have 2 more spirits come to visit you before this night is over to show you two possible futures for you if you do or do not let chuck into your heart. "

Crying out Sarah yelled," Why don't you just tell me?"

"Because you need to see for yourself Sarah, please take what intel they have for you and learn. Your life depends on it Sarah."

With that the spirt left leaving Sarah sitting on her bed, thinking she was either going crazy or someone had pumped some nerve agent in her room. Then she heard a noise and turning saw Ellie standing in the middle of her room. Sarah confused,"Ellie what are you doing in my room and more importantly how did you get in?"

"Sarah I took on the appearance of someone very important to you and Chuck, so please don't freak-out. Let's take a walk outside" and grabbed Sarah's hand leading her to Echo Park and the apartment the real Ellie and Chuck lived in.

Once in the courtyard she saw Chuck entering the apartment, she tried to get his attention but it was as if he did not hear him. She tried to grab him but her hands just passed through his.

'I'm sorry Sarah but we are only observers, we cannot physically interact with them. You love him don't you?"

"It's very complicated, "she replied.

"No it's not Sarah, it is rather simple but you build these walls around yourself to shield yourself and your heart from being hurt. But in actuality it is you who are actually hurting yourself."

"You don't understand"

"I beg to differ but I do, I know everything you and Casey being spies, the Intersect, even about those that would hurt Chuck. But the worst threat before Chuck is not fulcrum Sarah it is you!"

"ME!"

"Yes Sarah, you!, because you are afraid to open up to him you will hurt Chuck more than any other physical threat, you will hurt his heart and his love for you ."

"Wait, you said he loves me?" almost not wanting to believe what she had just heard, but her heart already knowing what her mind refused to understand.

"Yes Sarah, he loves you, he fell in love with you that very first day you entered his life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ghost of Christmas present:**

 **The spirit leading Sarah around the apartment could see all the Christmas decorations and tree in the Bartowski home. The atmosphere festive and cheerful through most of the apartment. Until they came near Chuck's room. The spirit and Sarah could see Chuck laying on his bed crying. .On his bed he had his P.A.N.T's box (Personal Items and never to be shared). As they got closer Sarah saw a letter addressed to Ellie and a small red box.**

 **Sarah knelt down to read the letter and she let out a gasp of Horror reading its contents. Tears coming down her cheeks for the first time in years. Her hand covering her mouth as she sobbed uncontrollably. The slowly she turned her head to the red box, opening it she small a 1 carat princess cut engagement ring. Picking it up she read the inscription on the band**

' **I love you Sarah, always'**

 **Her heart raced as she saw it and turning to her spirit guide pleaded for them to explain what she was seeing. Her emotions now fully surfacing like never before.**

" **Sarah do you realize that Chuck would have died if not for you? After all the pain he suffered and after Stanford he was lost and in so much pain that he begged for his life to end. We intervened to help him and you as well. If you and Chuck had not met you and he would have died, you on a mission very horribly and he by his own hand. But by meeting you both have a chance for something greater. That letter was his suicide letter to Ellie to explain to her why he ended his life. Even in death he was still concerned for those he loved.**

" **But the ring, and my name on it." Sarah asked.**

" **Do you remember when Ellie got married he used the money to pay for her wedding and reception?" The spirit continued**

" **Yes "replied Sarah**

" **Well he used the balance of it to by you an engagement ring, Sarah. He already knew in his heart that he loved you but just needed you to tell him you felt the same way. He knew that you were his one."**

 **Sarah's eyes grew big and the revelation being told to her. "He loves me?" she asked with tears falling from her eyes. "Even knowing the things I had to do for my job, he still loves me?".**

" **Yes Sarah Chuck has loved you from the moment he first saw you. You were his reason for living even with all his pain. . Did you know Chuck knew that Beckman and your boss Graham had send out a termination notice on him once they got the new Intersect running?"**

" **No I didn't know and Casey never told me"**

" **Yes Sarah,, you did not know because Chuck asked Casey and your bosses not to let you know. He asked two things of them, first he told Casey that he did not want to involve you with his termination, and secondly he wanted to spend whatever time he had left with the woman he loved. It was the first time Casey had tears in his eyes, he felt honored that chuck asked him to be the one to pull the trigger. But even Casey's cold heart was warmed y chucks request to be allowed to spend his last days with you. "**

 **Sarah's legs grew weak and fell to the floor hearing the spirt tell her what would have occurred had she been late coming to see Chuck that night.**

" **But the ring, she asked again."**

" **Chuck loves you Sarah, he wanted to ask you to marry him after the termination order was rescinded. But every time he tried to get you to open up you pushed him away."**

 **Sarah could see Chuck sobbing in his bed alone and softly calling out her name. Praying for whatever God there be to give him a sign of what he should do, and how much she meant to him.**

" **So Sarah do you love him?"**

" **It's Comp-!" Sarah was almost saying.**

" **Sarah don't give me that Bull, here you have the kindest man in this world , who loves you like no other man can or would ever love you . Remember Sarah I know everything about you, Sam!"**

 **Sarah cringed that someone had spoken her real name that was a secret, so covered up even the CIA itself never knew her real name.**

" **I gather you finally realize the truth, Sarah. I know everything your true feelings, hopes and desires as well as your nightmares.**

 **"Sarah there is another spirit coming and you make or may not like them. They will show you your two possible futures. One choice is a good one for you and Chuck, however the second choice will be one of sorrow and despair. I can only say that I hope you choose the better one, and find the courage to open your heart to him Sarah before it is too late for you both. "**

 **With that last word Sarah found herself back in her hotel room unnerved by what she had been shown. Her heart pained by seeing the suicide letter and hopeful of a future with Chuck would be. She did not have time to think more when the last spirit came and even then she felt the strange tension around this particular spirit. For the first time she felt nervous and afraid, and Sarah Walker never felt afraid in her life. Well at least no afraid enough that she could not control it. But this fear was one she could not control no matter how much training she had.**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Choice:**

 **Sarah had never known fear like the fear enveloping her now. The last spirit before her was herself and yet a darker version of her. Sarah could see the spirits right side was her face gleaming back but her left side was one of death itself incarnate. A cold chill filled her bones and flesh as the apparition spoke to her.**

" **Are you ready Sarah?"**

" **Wait!", Sarah said.**

" **What Sarah? We have a lot to see and not a lot of time to go where we need to go!" was the reply the spirit retorted.**

" **Spirit can I change the outcome to the better of what you will show me?"**

" **Sarah the choice is yours to make, but I see either life and love , or death and sorrow if you choose wrongly."**

" **Then let's go spirit I am ready." Sarah exclaimed back.**

 **The spirit took Sarah by her right hand and led her to a 2 story white house with a red door and a white picket fence. A beautiful Christmas tree showed itself on the window and the sound of laughter filled the air. Once inside the spirit and Sarah viewed an older Sarah and Chuck sitting on a couch kissing.**

" **Ewwww, Mom dad could you stop all this lovey dovey, stuff," the older child said.**

 **His sister the same age corrected her brother. "Stevey leave mom and dad alone, it looks so cute and romantic to see. But the other kids are giggling seeing mom and dad so lovey with each other.**

 **Sarah confused, saw 6 children in the home, the spirit explained that these were hers and Chucks children. Stevey and Emma were there oldest both fraternal twins, then next were the three girls, all identical triplets, Samantha, Ella, and Lisa. These were the splitting image of Sarah, with blond hair and their mothers blue eyes. Lastly was Charles Casey their last child the splitting image of their father. All the children were beautiful, very smart, very athletic, and with a huge heart like their mother and father.**

" **These are the children you and Chuck will have if you open your heart Sarah. You and Chuck will be very well off. You and he will begin Carmichael Industries and will stop your spy lives and will have the real life you have always yearned for Sarah." The spirit explained to her.**

" **Because of Chuck your, mother and the girl you saved with live also because of him. You family will be happy and your love for your husband will be unmatched.**

 **Plus the lives you and Chuck will also prosper and be blessed. Casey will find his long lost daughter he never knew he had. All this because you opened your heart Sarah, and fought for that love Sarah."**

 **Sarah was sobbing realizing what was being shown to her, the future she had dreamt of.**

 **A future of love, a husband, children and a real home. It was everything her heart dreamed of, all because of Chuck.**

 **Suddenly Sarah wasn't afraid anymore, she was no longer afraid of the 49B, Beckman, or the CIA. All she wanted now was her Chuck.**

 **The spirit however now told Sarah what lay before her if she chose to not include Chuck in her future.**

" **Sarah let us go to what will happen if you don't open your heart."**

" **Please spirit , I learned my lesson please don't ." Sarah pleaded**

" **No Sarah you need to see it all", the spirit replied.**

 **With that Sarah saw her spirit take on the dark and menacing appearance. Her left hand came out and it was not a hand but a skeletal hand grabbing her wrist. Sarah tried to pull away but the skeletal hand gripped her wrist like a steel vise.**

 **She was led to a room and there sat Chuck, a pale image of the man she knew. Tears came down his face as he wrote something on a letter she had seen previously. Sarah knew what the letter was and knew the meaning. Sarah then saw him pull a gun from inside a drawer in front of him. Then cocking the gun , his last words were, " I can't go on without you Sarah, I miss you." Then the gun going off filled the room and it vibrated her very soul and the pain she felt was one that eclipsed her very being.**

" **Why Spirit why show me these things!" Sarah cried out.**

" **It is to show you what is at stake, Sarah!"**

" **Because of your actions Sarah, you will affect many others. Casey and Carina will die in some god-forsaken hole because you were not there with Chuck. Your mother will die because of you, as well as the little girl."**

" **How no one knew." Sarah replied.**

" **That is not true, you will go with another man Daniel Shaw, who you think will love you like Chuck. But in the end he will betray you and kill you, and then take over the CIA/NSA. He will get the intersect from the Ring group and let Ryker know where you hid her. You actions will lead Ryker to your mother and he will kill her and then the little girl will die horribly once he has her fortune. All because Chuck was not in your life, to help save them all. "**

" **Sarah I will show you now your death", said the ominous spirit.**

 **She saw as Shaw threw her incapacitated body over the bridge in Paris.**

" **This is your death Sarah, no love , no family, and friends who will also die because you made the wrong choice. So Sarah are you ready ?"**

 **Sarah crying openly sobbing , her body shaking as her heart finally burst oopen and the walls she had for so long erected came crumbling down.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Christmas Morning:**

 _ **I felt Sarah had to be given two very distinct options to choose from. Considering what she has gone through in her live and then later in the CIA she has to be shown exactly what lay before her. No secrets or lies, just the bare facts of her choices. While Chuck had Ellie and Morgan to help him through his turmoil, she has never really had anyone for her that is until Chuck entered her life. I really felt it would have been better for her to see the truth without the white wash.**_

 **Sarah awoke in her bed and the turmoil from the night still fresh. She was unsure at first where she was and what the date even was. She kept trying to rationalize it as a bad dream or maybe some drug she was even exposed to. Suddenly her phone rang and it was Casey.**

" **Hey Walker are you awake yet? Bartowski just called me to remind me of Christmas lunch by his place. Ellie is making her usual Christmas lunch and everyone will be there." Grunted Casey.**

" **Why hasn't Chuck called yet he wondered out loud."**

" **What are you talking about Walker; remember you had to break the kids heart again the other night when he tried to get you to open up to him." Casey growled**

' **I'll be there Casey, see you later!"**

 **Sarah did remember the other night when she and Chuck sat in the courtyard and he was opening his heart to her. She wondered if last night was just a bad cruel dream or what . Then a thought came rushing into her mind, so strongly that it was almost like being being round housed kicked in her chest. 'His P.A.N.T.S!', she screamed She remembered seeing the box in the top of his closet shelf and her mind raced at what the spirits had shown her. The letter and the red box inside of it. She quickly dressed and drove to Chuck's and Ellie's apartment. Quietly she snuck into chuck's room, so as not to be heard by anyone. Chuck, Ellie, Devon were all in the living room surrounded by their arriving guests .**

 **Sarah sat on Chuck's bed and held the box, shaking, afraid to see what was inside.**

 **But somewhere she found the courage to open it and found what she had been shown the previous night inside. A letter written by Chuck to his sister, and reading it she began to sob uncontrollably, Then she spotted the small red box, opening it she saw the engagement ring and inscribed as she had seen it when the spirits had taken her. There on his bed Sarah's emotions broke loose. She sobbed openly and her body shook and trembled . During this time ellie had been exiting her room when she heard the sounds coming from her brother's bedroom. There she saw Sarah sitting on Chuck's bed crying ,tears flowing like a flood gate or dam had burst.**

" **Sarah what are you doing on Chuck's bed I didn't hear you come in?" Ellie asked**

 **The words could not escape Sarah's mouth, as Ellie just saw this strong woman just crumble before her eyes. All she could do was go up to her and give her a warm hug to try and console her brother's girlfriend.**

" **Ellie I have been a fool, I should have been more open with Chuck. But I was a coward Ellie." Sarah explained.**

" **I love chuck but because I was a coward, and scared I kept pushing him away. Ellie your brother is the world to me and I don't want to lose him." Sarah continued to say.**

" **Sarah I know you love him but you need to face your fear, regardless and fight for him. I kind of realize that you must have suffered in your life but if he is your world then overcome your fear. Chuck is there for you but you need to let him in, you won't regret that decision Sarah. He's in the living room why not just tell him openly how you feel."**

" **I'm scared Ellie."**

" **But not scared enough at the possibility of losing him forever?" Ellie responded.**

" **Sarah do you remember that talk we had when I felt Devon didn't have both feet in our relationship?"**

" **Yes, I remember Ellie!"**

" **Well you are being Devon right now, chuck want to take care of all four feet, not just three. Just like how I felt about Devon. So Sarah are you willing to take that leap of faith?"**

" **Yes, Ellie."**

" **So he is outside, let's go talk to him."**

 **With that Sarah and Ellie left Chuck's room but Sarah held on to Chuck's PANTS box in her hands. As the two women entered the living room everyone turned to look at them ,Chuck saw Sarah and saw that she had been crying.**

" **Sarah ,sweetie are you ok?" he asked.**

" **No Chuck I am not", Sarah replied.**

 **Looking down he saw the box she was carrying and fear entered his heart because he knew what it held.**

" **Chuck we need to talk." Sarah announced**

" **Sarah do you want to talk privately?" he softly said.**

" **NO! I want to talk now." Sarah replied firmly**

 **Pulling out the letter she showed him and told him that they would speak privately about that. But she took out the red small box and held it in her hands, her hands shaking and the tears flowing from her eyes until her eyes became reddened from the tears. She took his hand in hers and seeking strength kissed him openly.**

" **Chuck, I love you! I always have but I have been afraid. Afraid at the feelings you make me feel. Growing up I suffered a lot and then the responsibilities of my job further screwed me up. I built walls upon walls to keep me from hurting. I was a coward because I met a wonderful man in you, someone loving, respectful, caring. You didn't look at me as an object with no brain. Most men just wanted to use me or get into my pants to screw me. They treated me like a sexual conquest, but you never did. I was scared that you just accepted me and loved me for who I was. No man ever treated me that way. "**

 **Sarah's emotions came erupting out of her, she was unable to stop and contain the years of barriers she had erected, but this beautiful, loving Nerd just blew those out of the water. Chuck just took her in his arms and hugged her to him and kissed her lips.**

 **John Casey stood dumfounded and was going to say something to prevent his partner from compromising herself further. But stopped dead in his tracks, the look from Sarah Walker brought fear to his body and mind. She pointed a sole finger at him as if to say don't you dare. I need to do this.**

 **Sarah then turned to Chuck saying to him, "Chuck I have been in love with you since before I entered the Buy-More. Part of me has been searching for you my entire life. And it was me who thought I didn't deserve you! I felt I could never deserve a man as wonderful as you. You are my home Chuck, and each day you make me a better person. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to grow old with you, and have your children, and have a home together. I have never felt this way Chuck, I know you have wanted to ask me a question. A very important question, a question I want you to ask me now in front of everyone. "**

 **Chucks eyes grew big and wide as if he was thinking how did she know?**

 **Taking his PANTS box from her he removed the red box and looking deeply into her eyes kissed her softly on her lips. Then the intensity grew as the passion that each held for one another grew. Chuck smiled sweetly at the one woman who had won his heart. He knew that while Ellie and Morgan would be the guardians of his mind. But the beautiful, smart, strong Sarah Walker would forver be the guardian of his heart and soul.**

 **Taking her hand Chuck, chuck knelt on one knee and looking in her beautiful blue eyes asked," Sarah Walker, would you honor me by becoming my wife."**

 **Sarah looked at Chuck as her breath held at hearing those sweet words being uttered. Everyone in the room had also stopped breathing awaiting her reply.**

 **She finally responded, "Yes Chuck, Yes!"**

 **Chuck pulled Sarah into his arms kissing her and then placed the ring on her waiting finger. No one present could hold back the tears they felt for their two friends. Even the usually stoic John Casey could not hold back his own tears to see his two partners finally realize what they truly meant to each other. He knew he would have to fight the powers that be to keep them together. But for all the wars, and battles he had fought in his long career it was one he was willing to freely fight. He felt funny that Bartowski had changed both he and Walker in their time in Burbank. Chuck had shown them that there was a greater calling that Country or duty. It was one of fighting for one's family. Casey knew that his two partners and Ellie, Devon were family now and he was a part of it. Also even that pain in the back side Morgan Grimes he considered as family, but he wouldn't let the little gremlin know that. LOL!**

 **c**

 **.**


End file.
